Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My Funeral

Don't take this the wrong way, but I've planned out my funeral/wake.

I figured I should probably create a record of what I want to happen in the event that I die. I know I'm not going to be there, and so I won't actually care what goes on, but I'd at least like to know now that I have some list of my requests. Assurance for the future, call it.

To start of with, I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered. I don't really care where. The ocean sounds nice.

I don't want a traditional funeral. I want more of a wake. Have it in some church or something if you must, but I want a large percentage of the budget going towards alcohol. If you have to cry over me being dead (and I don't see why you would, really), then do it on your own time. I always hated going to funerals which were all about the death of a person. Seriously. Let's have a decent remembrance of when I was alive, and then a fucking huge party. That's probably about the most apt way of celebrating my "life."

Moving on to more specific requests. There are three songs that must be played at my funeral:

Opening: "Life Without You," by Stevie Ray Vaughn
Middle: "Little Wing," by Stevie Ray Vaughn, covering Jimi Hendrix
Closing: "Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Parts 1-5," by Pink Floyd.

The only official "reading" that I want I my funeral is this:

"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here." - Richard Dawkins, Unweaving the Rainbow.

Joe, Arto, and Mary are fully allowed to heckle me at my funeral, and Joe had better have a pretty good eulogy, delivered in a mean-old-cuss-cowboy way. Just saying.

Keep the heaven and god talk to a minimum, if at all possible. The funeral's really for the folks left behind, and I would rather it be more a celebration of life for them than endlessly droning on about some afterlife or "better place" or other such nonsense. This world is more full of wonder than people give it credit for, and it is enough for me.

That's all I have so far. Maybe more later.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The World is Just Awesome

These have been around for a little while. However, I feel that I need to write an incredibly quick post on it.

Watch this:



I love this idea. There should have been commercials like this on Discovery and every other channel years ago. We need a huge public outreach campaign for science.

I love the world. And I love science.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Demons in your Ouija Board

Let's talk about pamphlets.

Living in Chicago, there are a lot of people walking around on the streets trying to hand out things or get you to sign up for stuff. Some of it's okay, some of it's stupid, and some of it's just plain scary.

Now, we ahve a lot of church groups around here, and sometimes they walk around and hand out brochures and stuff. As far as I know, not many go door to door, but as that I live in an apartment with key-protected access, I might have a bit of a biased view on this.

Today I want to share with you a particular brochure that I got from some Jehovah's Witnesses. It's entitled "Who Really Rules the World?", copyright 1992 by Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania. Printed in Canada, if that matters.

Anyway. Let's break this thing down. I'll write out parts of the tract (in italics) and respond with my own commentary (in regular print), all of it after the fold. Before the jump, I'd just like to say that it is pretty full of terrible logic and spiral of crazy. Let's get to it!

Read More...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

When Two Worlds Collide

I think my love of metal outweighs my distaste for religion. Also, this guy "does not play to draw people...to religion." I like this guy: